If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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