I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
