Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
