hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
