Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
