i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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