You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
