I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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