It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
