In America we eat man semen.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
