He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize