I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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