Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
