I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
