we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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