And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
