I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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