just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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