so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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