I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
