yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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