Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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