dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
