I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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