Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
These tits shall not be calmed
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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