Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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