there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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