What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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