Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
