its not stalking. its research.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
