If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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