Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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