I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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