Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
