I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize