if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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