Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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