just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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