After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
