i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
