You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
