I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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