plz talk dirty to me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
