I got chris browned last night
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
