Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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