im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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