butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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