His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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