oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
