You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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