Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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