you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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