Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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