Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
