They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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