chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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