1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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