Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize