he thought i was a dude.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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