Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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