What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
