Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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