I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
