Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize