You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
