Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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