I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
