Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
