just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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