Say something about gay babies.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
