no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
